Role definition, the example used is that of the pastor who does not fully make themselves aware of the patient and what is involved in the care of the patient. By being able to collaborate and study the chart of the patient it allows me to present my work to find out what happened in the pastoral visit. What were my goals and what would I liked to have happened or what is it the patient needed in the moment. I can save myself some trouble by finding out what and who it is that I am about to deal with.
How do I relate to the environment, first reactions, first responses and first impressions? Design a plan before I go into a room and then after meeting the patient being able to tweak and redesign the plan I had. To not only give pastoral visit but learn from the visit about patient and self. I have tried to achieve awareness of the meaning of pastoral visit and its relationship to the patients suffering and or condition. Raising my level of skill and care for the patient to meet and maximize the goals and plans for a pastoral visit. I have dealt with the manipulation of a visit by that I mean to guide the patient into questioning and conversation that meets my own needs and have concluded to go with the flow of the patient to properly minister and to seriously excogitate spiritually, religiously and theologically about the visit. To me a marker of good ministry is to unveil the layers of mystery of the patient’s feelings and condition and understanding the purpose of the visit in relation to my ministry.
In the book Suffering and Illness Carol Fay Reed spoke of a battlefield wound bandager, who went about taking care of the wounded and I imagine never being able to stop the hemorrhage of war. Henri Nowen makes the same analogy in Creative Ministry but relates it to the sickness of society and all the ills that it carries about. He says that this may be a source of frustration for the minister.
The process of CPE has given me the ability to affirm self especially in the times when I have felt as though I have not done such a good job in pastoral ministry to the patient. I have been able to suppress some of my needs and avoid some of the pitfalls such as feelings of hurt, depression or anger with medical staff, patients of self.
In trying to discover my own feelings and understanding myself, I had a discussion with my staff chaplain. She informed me after much discussion that maybe I have not dealt with the death of my son. And that there may be some repressed anger inside of me. The anger that may go back to my childhood that went unexpressed for all the things I felt from a mean father. A father who I describe as not mean spirited in that I really don’t know how much control he had over his emotions and the way he would attack you mentally, physically and spiritually, yet he was mean.
We discussed the meaning of being a nine on the enneagram and how it is possible to have feelings and emotions pent up inside of me and not know how or be willing to release them. Illusions of peace and tranquility are possible. I have already begun to reduce illusions and begin to see people as they are and if union is not possible then it is not. Unhealthy unions versus separation.
The following is a evaluation of the enneagram type that I am. This information comes direct from the enneagram website. This is aguideline, but not written in stone.
World View: My efforts won't matter to the world. It's best to keep the peace.
Basic Desire: to find union and peace
Basic Fear: of separation
Healthy loop controlled by
Basic Desire: Need to find union -> accept others -> do the right thing -> Need to find union In the healthy state, the need to find union induces Type Nines to genuinely open up to others and accept them as they are. Others often find their acceptance welcoming and build up a strong bond or union. This way, Nines' need are satisfied and a balance is reached. In the average state, when Nines' are less accepting of others or the world, which means the union begins to weaken. This causes the need to find union to increase, which helps Nines to again become more accepting of others. Thus the balancing loop can help Nines to recover.
Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.
How to Get Along with Me
If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.
Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and non-judgmentally.
Ask me questions to help me get clear.
Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
Let me know you like what I've done or said.
Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.
What I Like About Being a Nine
being nonjudgmental and accepting
caring for and being concerned about others
being able to relax and have a good time
knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe
What's Hard About Being a Nine
being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
being confused about what I really want
caring too much about what others will think of me
not being listened to or taken seriously
Nines as Children Often
feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
tune out a lot, especially when others argue
are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves
Nines as Parents
are supportive, kind, and warm
are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective